Saturday, December 26, 2009

SAMPLE PRESCRIPTION -- DIAGNOSIS: LESS THAN NOMINAL ORBIT



SAMPLE PRESCRIPTION:

NAME: SPUTNIK
AILMENT: less than nominal orbit, currently at 200 km x 917 km but should be 223 km x 950 km
SYMPTOMS: orbit currently at 200 km x 917 km
ALLERGIES: hypergolic propellants; bad poetry but not bad enough
SHIPPING ADDRESS: xxxx xxxxx Chicago, IL
606xx

Rx: A Clear Midnight, by Walt Whitman-- "This is thy hour, O Soul, thy free flight into the wordless.."

Directions: Keep in sealed, dry space pocket; Astronaut whispers once at 203 km x 924 km; wait 5 days; shout poem at highest volume when reaching 223 km x 950 km; if toxicity occurs, contact god immediately; nominal orbit depends on faith

BEFORE READING THIS POEM: make peace with the mystery of stars; let go of nationalist performance anxiety
CAUTIONS: may cause euphoric visions of world peace; may cease space-race; POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS: inter-planetary communion with other life forms; hydrozinical hallucinations; the desire to learn how to swim with dolphins.
OVERDOSE: contact god immediately for further direction should you keep spinning in orbit but never align.

December 2009

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